Set no limits to your suffering. Stretch it so far that it extends all over the highway so that it will eventually come back to you. Be careful, it will have a very strong boomerang effect! It comes back to smother you, to put the blame on you, to immobilize you. Don’t set limits on the people around you. Be a good woman, a model worker.
Stretch your patience to the limit, as we have always been taught that sacrifices are associated with virtues, although that implies ignoring our lives and desires. You can choose this. Don’t set limits, but know that you won’t get a ‘thank you’ or ‘sorry’ for this. People get used to seeing you in a certain role. They don’t believe that you deserve respect for everything you do, for the meaning behind your personal struggle.
The direct result of tolerating the things that hurt you, words fraught with ill intent, violence, abuse and neglect, is nothing but becoming the perfect prey for all kinds of predators.
The price you pay by setting no limits
No one will blame you if you have suffered a certain kind of abuse. But some people have been through so much and think they are just punching bags.
At least you can think so, if you can’t find the strength yourself to move forward. You can always take your last breath and keep your anger hidden among the desires of your sighs. Also, you can make your last effort to help someone else achieve their goals.
No one accuses you of having reached this state of emotional poverty, of feeling that every spark of magic and creativity within you has been weakened by your circumstances. But if you still have enough life within you to notice that you are in that state right now, it is possible that you can take one more step back and stop certain situations.
You may still have time not to cut ties with certain relationships and eradicate them from the root. You might find yourself in that beautiful spot on the road where you know no one is coming to save you. Yet you also know that there is no need to be saved. You still have time to apply a “super-fast healing” to the environment around you. A social detox, rich in vitamins and free from human oxidizing additives.
The importance of setting boundaries
There is no shortage of psychopaths in this world. Unfortunately, they are sometimes very difficult to detect. Other times, these people just have dark shadows and some perverted traits. Unfairly, people of strong character are often treated worse than psychopaths.
The price you pay for not knowing how to set limits is therefore very high. These costs increase even more when we refuse to face reality. When we don’t know how to detect and/or confront the violations in time. The scent of your fear of abandonment, of criticism or stigma, becomes the best ally of those who do not hesitate to make your weakness their armor to take the blows of life.
There are so many kinds of people, so much complexity in human relationships. It would be impossible to understand why some act a certain way and others don’t. If everything were tied to a script or a divine plan, what would be the point of it all?
However, some relationship patterns seem to repeat themselves over and over. We observe them, fight them and suffer from them. These are characterized by a communication system in which some people have no voice. Relationship patterns in which a person does not set boundaries, even if it means that he will be unhappy.
Relationships in which a person has given up his or her right to think of themselves first. The price of not setting limits on demands, seeking unsolicited opinions and bad manners, is never receiving the slightest gesture of courtesy.
Never expect a “sorry” or a “thank you” from someone who crossed the boundaries of emotional abuse long ago. These words of courtesy and gratitude will be awarded to someone else. Someone who, perhaps without doing anything, has already earned the ‘last batch’ of all his praise.
Now might be a good time to let your skin heal. Put yourself first when considering your plans and make yourself the first person on the list of people who can make you happy. You can still provide many surprises. Know how to set limits on your tolerance. Turn the other cheek to the world and put a metal bar on your limits, as well as on your limitations. Don’t expect a “thank you” or “sorry” from someone who dropped you on your knees so they could stand. These people don’t deserve it.