What’s Really Behind Seemingly Innocuous Comments

What's Really Behind Apparently Innocent Comments

Some people need to hurt others to feel better about themselves. Behind their seemingly innocuous comments, they often hide some sort of verbal poison to cripple and destroy the victim. A silent destruction. It’s so sneaky it’s almost impressive.

We are talking about people who take pleasure in making others feel uncomfortable, as if they are inferior. People who are out to create these kinds of scenarios, whether they do it consciously or not.

And they will use whatever weapon they have at their disposal to reach it. From the most obvious and obvious, to the most imperceptible.

Think about those “unnecessary” comments you’ve probably heard before. It may help if you think about comments about your physical appearance.

One’s appearance is an easy target for these types of people. “Wow, what are you wearing today…” “You like weird clothes, don’t you?” “Why are you wearing that?” There are so many examples.

Behind some seemingly harmless comments is the intention to hurt the other person

“Okay, well, whether it’s weird or not, what do you care?” “Well, that’s your opinion.” “I wear this because I like it. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t wear it, like what you do when you get dressed.’

These are the answers that would give us common sense and self-esteem. But there are those who feel ashamed and care about the unnecessary comment. People who allow the comment to eat away at their self-confidence.

Two women who are each other's reflection

But think about it. What’s behind these ‘innocent’ comments? What intentions hide underneath? WHY?

This is the most honest question you can ask yourself. Why am I making these comments? Everyone is different and has their own taste and way of living and presenting.

If you don’t like it, or you wouldn’t do it yourself… fine. You have learned something about what you like and dislike.

However, it’s one thing to think ‘I don’t like it’, it’s quite another to actually say it to the other person. Why does someone feel the need to express their negative feelings about how someone else looks?

Differences should make us more tolerant

Often, behind these kinds of comments, there is a secret need that wants satisfaction at the expense of others.

Differences make our interactions and relationships interesting and rewarding. They enrich our world. Thanks to differences, we learn to be more tolerant and accept that our lifestyle is not the best or the only one.

There are probably as many lifestyles as there are people in the world. That’s why it’s important to find out why we make these (seemingly) innocent comments. What do they get us…?

But how do we usually react? Normally people feel offended in such situations. They feel insecure or vulnerable, or the unnecessary nature of certain comments simply hurts.

However, you don’t have to let it affect you. You can understand another person’s opinion, but please don’t take it as the absolute truth.

Narcissistic people gain strength by belittling others

Narcissists tend to make these kinds of comments often. Comments that are made consciously, and that are in no way harmless. They want to feel better, so they feed their inner, hungry monster that feeds on other people’s pain.

A woman belittling a man with her seemingly harmless comments

This behavior is typical of narcissistic people. Or rather, people who walk around with such a painful wound that they end up blowing their egos at the expense of everyone else. A wound that is the result of low self-esteem and insecurity.

If I can make the other person look inferior, I will definitely look taller. Eventually the suffocating self-loathing will disappear.

But it’s one big lie… Because the more you hurt the other person, the more despicable you’ll feel. Pain accumulates. We have to reverse the situation.

Love yourself, heal that wound. But never at the expense of someone else. Never by belittling others so that you can feel yourself bigger. Make yourself great by loving, nurturing and accepting yourself. That way you can also love and accept everyone else.

So… the next time you get an ‘unnecessary’ and seemingly innocuous comment… or when you find yourself doing it… find out why.

Why are you doing it? What are you trying to achieve with it? Use it as a way to start the healing process.

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