We Don’t Listen To Pay Attention, But To Respond

We don't listen to pay attention, but to respond

We hear, but we don’t listen. We live in a society where we are not always interested in what others have to say because all that matters is our own beliefs. Listening is an attitude in life that is not always practiced.

According to several studies conducted by Daniel Goleman, people who are successful professionally tend to be more receptive and able to show more interest. People who are able to build close bonds and really listen have more control over different kinds of situations and human amenities.

Communication does not consist of sending messages between two or more people. Communication also depends on our personality, our emotional intelligence and our capacity for empathy. We invite you to reflect on this for a moment.


‘Mental noise’ limits your ability to listen

We talk way too much, but we don’t listen. According to economist and broadcaster Otto Sharmer, people should create an opening that springs directly from their hearts. That is how they can access the deepest levels of their emotional perception and become more receptive to the world and the people around them.

If nature gave us ears, it was not only so that we would be able to hear, but also to listen. If we are unable or not good enough at this in our daily lives, it is because of the interruptions of that ‘mental murmur’:

  • We listen on ‘automatic pilot’ and with habits we have learned ourselves, not wanting others to convince us of things we supposedly already know.
  • We are only concerned with ourselves and with the ‘but I already know that…’
  • Often we tend to limit our listening ability to the things that selectively confirm our beliefs.

If our ability to build connections with each other is the basic law of human relationships, then we should set aside this individuality and that rumor of individualism based on the fence placed around the word “I” so that we can open ourselves appropriately to our environment. We explain how you can do this.


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When we listen with our hearts, this is a true art form

Wilbur Schramm, a recognized expert in communication models, explains that maintaining a dialogue is not about the message itself, but about the emotional state of both interlocutors. This can be summarized as ‘I answer with what I feel and not based on what I hear’.

Our thoughts are constantly talking to us: a whole series of interwoven rumors from the past, unfulfilled desires, fear, limiting attitudes, strict beliefs, worries and emotions. Sometimes it is almost impossible to break free from this to get in touch with the person in front of you.


Silence your thoughts and ‘slow down’

As you probably know, ‘slow’ movement is all the rage these days. In fact, this is a philosophy that we should all embrace, because we all always want our existence to move fast.

Think about your ability to slow down a bit so you can take control of things around you and free your mind to appreciate the present more. Disconnect yourself from outside noise (your phone, traffic, television) every day so you can focus on that inner noise and get it out of the way.

Develop your intuition

What does our intuition have to do with our ability to listen? Being intuitive means having the ability to make assumptions before you start listening. It means knowing when to pay attention with an open heart and a clear mind, without prejudice or biased beliefs.

Sometimes it is enough to look at the person who is talking to you with a smile and a sincere look to show them that you understand them. Sensing the emotions of others means using your empathy during a conversation. It means offering closeness and understanding. Knowing how to sense others means being able to say whatever it takes at just the right time, and not having things in your head like, “I should have told him,” I should have said yes or no’, I should have said we could try again…’

Be receptive to the point of view of others, allow yourself to feel and learn

We talk way too much and don’t listen to the people around us the way we should listen to them. While their opinions and experiences might be interesting or enriching for us.

We live in a world where we are more interested in the things our friends post on their social networking page than physically assisting them to listen to what they may have to tell us. Be receptive to everything around you, be open-minded and give yourself the opportunity to be freer and more curious. Sometimes a simple conversation can be the trigger for a true revelation, a real personal change. Challenge yourself to experience this.

Listening is like feeling that other person is part of you, without barriers, by empathizing, freely and sincerely embracing their existence…


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