Wanting To Please Everyone Is An Unnecessary Waste

Wanting to please everyone is an unnecessary waste

Wanting to please everyone makes us stop loving ourselves.  How many times have we said yes to others and no to ourselves? How many times have we sacrificed our will, desires, and feelings to make someone else happy?

We have done this many times in our lives, because the line between ‘give in; in a healthy way and ‘give in’ too much to others, is very blurry. We can say without a doubt that it is dangerous and unnecessary.

That way we sometimes find it hard to put on a good show when we have to say no to something that destroys us. It can also happen that our voice trembles and we avoid eye contact. However, it is essential to learn how to purposefully protect our core.

Girl Sitting On A Couch With A Heart Under Her Arms, A Black Cat On The Back And Poppies Around Her

Don’t say YES when you want to say NO

One of the definitions of “assertiveness” that we can find, which is closer to everyday language, is the definition of the psychologist Walter Riso, who puts it this way:

When we manipulate our will, we no longer allow ourselves to refuse something despite its negative consequences for us.  This situation is toxic; it is like drinking water from the well of eternal unhappiness and thus becoming disaffected people, angry with themselves and deeply frustrated because they have not valued their values ​​and beliefs.

Little Princess Whose Dress A Sea Shape With Monsters In It

Don’t lose your essence when someone hurts you, just be careful

An Asian teacher saw a scorpion that was drowning and decided to get it out of the water, but when he did, the scorpion stung him. Because of the pain, the teacher dropped him and the animal fell back into the water, only to drown again. The teacher tried to get him out of the water again, and was stabbed again. Someone watching asked the teacher:

-Sorry, but you are so stubborn! Can’t you see you’ll be stung every time you try to save him?

The teacher replied:

– It is in the nature of the scorpion to sting and that will not change mine, and it is in my nature to help.

So with the help of a few leaves, the teacher managed to save the scorpion. ‘Don’t change your nature if someone hurts you; just be careful.’ What others think of you is not your problem; it’s their problem.

We shouldn’t change who we are just because someone has hurt or hurt us. We must learn to manage our will and reassess circumstances to adjust our strategies.

Girl Watching An Octopus Invade Her Room

At the same time, it is also not a solution to intuitively rethink our feelings for others. We must make an effort and manage our expectations in a way that allows us to uphold our principles without guilt.

However, it should also be noted that being assertive and protecting ourselves does not mean that we will not feel guilty, as it usually goes hand in hand with unwanted rejections and loss of people and things we need (for example, refusing to share personal information). that are not relevant to the position we are applying for during an interview).

As we’ve said, trying to please everyone comes with great personal costs that can be avoided because our self-confidence gets weaker, as does our dignity and determination. Therefore, we must protect ourselves and take precautions to protect our essence and not suffer needlessly. The key is to say NO when necessary. 

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