Trying to control everything is one of our modern fantasies. The history of man is a story of the progressive victory over the forces of nature. Our race started out as a powerless mammal. Since then, we have made a huge leap forward, increasingly enabling us to unravel the mysteries of our environment.
Meanwhile, we level in times of rush. Everything happens at a fast pace and we struggle to keep up. That said, it’s not that weird that we fantasize about an ability to try and control everything. Beneath this fantasy resides a desire to be able to walk on firm ground. We want to feel like we have control over our own lives.
We don’t always realize that trying to control everything is just a fantasy. It is an objective based on an impulse. That’s what makes this such a complicated problem. If we forget that, we begin to behave in a way that allows tidal waves of fear to run wild. We constantly lose control and feel immensely frustrated because of this.
Everything is in constant flux, meaning there are hundreds (or thousands) of factors beyond our control. Everything that is alive is in a constant state of flux. Today one thing happens and tomorrow it happens others. Death is the only state we will all reach with certainty. Life follows its course between uncertainties and unexpected turns.
Trying to control everything: a fantasy of control
We no longer live in a time where we can take it easy. We are constantly bombarded with hundreds of stimuli. You wake up and your head is immediately filled with ideas and sensations colliding with each other. You have the feeling that there is a lot to do but you are short of time.
Every day we experience conflicting emotions and feelings. Sometimes we divert them instead of paying attention to them, which ultimately prevents us from understanding them. We just want to function well. To achieve that, you have to set limits on yourself. You need to get over uncomfortable thoughts quickly. You also need to get over emotions that stand in the way of being productive and active.
We may not think so, but we tend to try to control everything. That’s why we often get annoyed when things don’t go as planned or when we run into an obstacle. It is a kind of resistance to a reality that contradicts our goals.
Under these circumstances, we usually sink into a kind of paradox. We control our finances but can’t get a grip on our insomnia. We can control our fatigue, but important relationships fall apart. No matter how hard we try, we will never gain control over everything.
Conscious observation and full awareness
Non-Western cultures possess a truth that we often forget. Life does not take place in your thoughts, but in your senses. Thoughts will always be there to interpret reality. Our mind directs our lives based on prejudices, fears, ambitions and so on. At the same time, it often prevents us from actually experiencing the present moment.
What does this have to do with our desire to try to control everything? What happens with all of the above is that thoughts work like this: it limits and appropriates everything to give direction to everything. Perception, feelings and emotions work differently. They are more rebellious and chaotic, but also freer and more authentic. These are the things that sabotage our attempts to control everything. They also allow us to experience joy.
We often see that we are fighting with ourselves. Our thoughts produce a certain content that we then try to get rid of. We don’t try to understand. Instead, we try to remove it directly from our consciousness. For example, we feel a bit of nervousness and we try to get rid of it right away, as long as it eventually disappears completely. Perhaps we can get ourselves a new perspective on these matters by adopting an accepting and observant attitude.
Let things be as they are
Learn to perceive without judging yourself and without thinking too much. Simply consider things… Trying to control everything isn’t worth the effort. Instead, try to simply let things be, to flow, both internally and externally. This is the path that will allow you to experience life in a more authentic way, without hesitation. A new form of understanding arises without presenting itself as an intellectual lesson. It is just a life lesson: a higher level of consciousness that will take you to a new balance.