We tend to hide our feelings when we are with other people. We are ashamed to admit that we feel emotions that we view as negative and mistakenly believe that we will look like weak people in the eyes of others. Talking about your feelings may be something you don’t like to do because you want to be emotionally strong. You may not want to be influenced by things. Most people want to paint a picture of a ‘mature and rational person’.
Indeed, applying rational thinking and trying to be a little more mature every day is great. First of all for ourselves, because it allows us to solve many unnecessary problems. But also for others; our relationships are likely to improve. After all, not exaggerating, managing our emotions well and acting in a functional and sensible way also affects our environment.
However, this does not mean that we stop being human. Throughout our lives, it is inevitable that we will feel miserable, anxious, or angry more often than we would like. Therefore, it is best to take this as normal, not hide it and accept ourselves. Of course, always in moderation: While it’s therapeutic to talk about your feelings with others, it can be counterproductive to do it too often.
Why is talking about your feelings good for you?
Whether it’s negative or positive feelings, talking about your feelings is always good. Talking about positive feelings is good because it makes them even better and celebrating or sharing them is great. Who would hesitate to share good news and happiness with people?
However, we also have reasons to share negative emotions. Most importantly, by putting them on the table, we can no longer walk away from them and probably take on the responsibility of facing them. We expose the emotions, which will likely reduce them. Talking about your feelings allows you to bring them out to hear other points of view, often less harsh than your own.
When should you talk to others about your feelings?
Anytime you feel like you can’t think clearly and act less effectively, it’s a good idea to share. You can do this with your best friend, your parents or a psychologist. In any case, it’s best not to keep it to yourself.
For example, suppose your partner does something you don’t like. Wouldn’t it be better instead of shutting up and exploding inside, just saying how you feel? If you don’t, it will accumulate in you and your way of expressing how you feel will not be very successful.
Taking responsibility and sharing
Always start by taking responsibility for your feelings. For this, you could start by saying, “I feel…” followed by your motives and ending by making contact with the other person and accepting their point of view.
We can also share what happened to us with people who have nothing to do with the problem, such as a friend. They will give us their point of view and help us find solutions. There is no need to criticize other people because then you get the opposite effect: the negativity only grows.
It is very unlikely that you will be rejected by others for having negative feelings, as people are often empathetic. But when it happens, it’s not your problem and it doesn’t say anything about you. Remember that talking about your feelings and problems will not only benefit you, but also the people around you, as they will feel familiar and closer to you.