Sensitivity in our behavior, understanding and communication is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. This is contrary to what some people seem to think, because they think that having feelings makes a person weak.
Emotions and feelings have been looked down upon for much of history, so it’s not surprising that society believes that our feelings diminish our effectiveness, strength and competence when it comes to making decisions.
Fortunately, this is starting to change and we value our feelings more, as well as the ability to show sensitivity when interacting with our environment.
Intimacy, authenticity and sensitivity in communication
Sensitive communication requires directness. But saying what we think can hurt people, so while we have to be honest, we also need to express ourselves in a way that causes as little harm as possible.
What is the key to sensitive communication? Expressing a feeling and not a judgement. Judging others means losing any kind of sensitivity and immediacy in communication. In other words, instead of accusing someone of being a liar, we should ask ourselves what that means before we make that judgment.
Instead of judging someone, we should talk about how we feel in response to that person’s behavior. For example: “It makes me angry if you do this”. Always be specific and emphasize how the situation makes you feel. Words that express judgment lack sensitivity and their only function is to protect one’s ego.
There is no vulnerability in our feelings and emotions
Many people communicate through judgment because they fear being vulnerable and sensitive when expressing their feelings. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Where judgment and opinions are no more than an assumption, feelings are based on the real experience.
If we encourage sensitivity in our closest relationships, we will allow ourselves to show more vulnerability. We assume no one will take advantage of this and we use our feelings to promote effective communication.
But in less close or solid relationships, we tend to take a cold, judgmental stance, as if it were a triumph over vulnerability. As a result, we do not communicate clearly and freely, but we fall for the temptation of the quick and easy judgments, fearing that that part of us that we consider subordinate will be discovered, but that only makes us wiser.
When we appear sensitive and show others that we are not made of stone, it means that we express ourselves in a safe, open, relaxed and enthusiastic way. We show that we are willing to learn, understand and mature.
It can be difficult to talk with sensitivity, but it’s worth a try. There are many benefits to growing up in a competitive society and forgetting that the things that make us strong are also considered weakness.
As we already know, criticizing, ridiculing or ignoring things that bother us only adds tension and creates conflicts that are difficult to resolve. Therefore, society’s message of appearing insensitive is only useful in certain cases, but not in most cases.
Attacking others instead of revealing our feelings is a mistake that we can pay a heavy price for. With this in mind, it should be obvious that sensitivity is a gift that should be used to the fullest, because living from the heart makes us special and authentic.