An emotional detox is a necessary step in the healing process after a breakup, because a breakup can lead to other events that can make you doubt everything and everyone and feel angry.
While ignoring your pain may help for a while, if you don’t let your wounds heal, it’s not the best way to get over it. Sooner or later, your wounds can cause you to lash out at other people who don’t deserve it.
Different reactions after a breakup
Many factors can influence the way you deal with a breakup. For example, think of:
- the moment it happens
- your own personal involvement
If you were in a good relationship and the breakup was unexpected, it can make you feel really bad about yourself. But if you were in an abusive relationship, you might feel great after the breakup.
In this regard, negative personal reactions can lead to specific actions and negative mood. This, in turn, can lead to dysfunctional behaviors such as extreme fear, delusions, and even revenge.
Breaking with your old identity
After a breakup , some people experience fear, confusion, sadness and loneliness. These emotions can even develop into frustration and anger. In contrast, some people experience freedom, empowerment and optimism.
However, when someone breaks up, you also somehow end up breaking up with your old identity. This is because you have to rebuild yourself and rediscover who you really are.
“I am nothing without you”
The first step to overcoming a breakup is knowing who you are as an individual. Sometimes in a relationship your own ‘self’ is connected to the other person. This is a mistake many people make.
When you break up with someone, you have to accept that things have changed. Accepting that things have changed is the first step. You also need to realize that things will never be the same and you won’t be the same person again.
When you break up, your routine changes drastically. Humans are creatures of habit. It is therefore very difficult to have to change the most basic routines.
A broken or healed self-image
A breakup can help you analyze your self-image. If the relationship helped you create a better image of yourself, helped you grow as a person, and shone a light on important aspects of your own nature, you might think being in a relationship is the best thing for you.
If, on the other hand, the relationship didn’t grow you as a person, or kept you from really expressing yourself, then breaking up the relationship can help you redefine yourself. In this case, an emotional detox can help you become a better version of yourself.
Shape your own perspective after a breakup
Writing down your feelings as you go through a breakup is a great way to cope and part of your emotional detox. Writing as part of an emotional detox consists of three phases.
- First, think about what you think led to the breakup. Write it down, analyze it and assess how it affects your self-image and your own identity.
- The second stage is to write down the immediate consequences of the breakup.
- The third and final phase is to write down the long-term consequences of the breakup.
It’s all about focusing on aspects other than sadness and negativity. Writing down what happened to you can really help you understand how it all went wrong.
Abstinence and emotional detox
Your brain’s chemical response to a broken heart is similar to how an addict feels after not consuming for a few days.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher’s findings suggest that during romantic passion, reward and survival systems are activated. This is another key to emotional detox.
An emotional detox can help you understand that there is a physical part you will feel. It will help you with these emotional withdrawal symptoms. Understanding that these symptoms are completely physical and that will diminish and disappear over time will help you overcome this phase.
When do you start a new relationship after a breakup?
There is a common assumption that a new relationship starting after a breakup is not a good idea or will not blossom. However, the results of studies in this area show that sooner or later getting involved in the next relationship has more to do with trust in the new partner than with feelings for the ex-partner.
It seems that the time between these relationships does not predict the success or failure of the new relationship. Sometimes these “bouncing” relationships help resolve internal conflicts that arose from a painful breakup. It all depends more on how you feel emotionally.