Not Being Able To Breastfeed Can Lead To Guilt

Not being able to breastfeed can lead to feelings of guilt

Women are supposed to follow certain guidelines from the first moment they discover they are pregnant. However, following these guidelines also means that they have to make a lot of very difficult decisions. Women have to think about so many things when they become a mother. It’s a new and exciting world. One of those big decisions is whether or not to breastfeed.

Every woman has her own reasons for choosing to breastfeed or bottle – feed. On the one hand, there are the women who are in favor of breastfeeding. On the other hand, there are the women who cannot or do not want to breastfeed.

Deciding whether or not to breastfeed

Feeling guilty for not being able to breastfeed

Several medical reasons support the decision not to breastfeed.  Examples include when a woman has certain diseases, low milk production and/or a painful mammary gland inflammation. These situations also have important psychological effects because two influential ideas come into conflict. Here they are:

  • a mother’s innate need to feed her baby
  • the inability to do it naturally

If you translate this to real life, you will notice situations of total frustration. There is the baby who cries with hunger and the desperate mother who tries everything to feed her baby. This is a situation where breastfeeding doesn’t work for some reason.

A mother once told me that she was afraid every time she had to breastfeed her son. She made a lot of milk but she had superficial wounds that prevented the baby from sucking properly. The baby also had a hard time latching on properly. In addition, she had problems using a breast pump.

Her suffering and pain were so bad that at one point she wondered “but why do I have to feed you?”  Her nipples were chapped, bleeding and causing a constant burning sensation. Even the friction of her blouse against the nipples was painful. Despite these problems, many women feel attacked when they no longer want to continue breastfeeding. Even a midwife told her “Well, if you’re tired already…”

When should you stop breastfeeding?

When should you stop breastfeeding?

Is it really necessary? I don’t think so. A woman transfers the stress and frustration of this situation to her child. That is worse than denying the child the benefits inherent in breast milk.

In the first months of a baby’s life, the time of feeding is a moment of bonding. It is a moment of connection that has positive effects for both the mother and the baby. However, if there is pain, it can have the opposite effect.

If a mother eventually finds herself in this situation and decides to stop breastfeeding, she has another decision to make. After all, she has to choose which milk is the best possible. Bottle feeding is completely safe. In addition, it does not pose any risk to the baby. A pediatrician is the best person to advise the parents in this case.

Breastfeeding is a choice, not an obligation

Breastfeeding is a choice, not an obligation

It is true that breastfeeding promotes the emotional bond between a mother and her baby. However, research shows that if the mother doesn’t do this, it won’t stop this bond from forming.

You know there’s something wrong with a society where a woman feels like a failure because she can’t breastfeed. And it could be even worse. Others give her that feeling too. The message these women should get is: “you are doing well, it is important that you are happy so that you can transfer that peace to your baby.”

Under any circumstances, no one should attack a woman for her decision, as long as the baby is safe. Mothers should support each other regardless of their breastfeeding decisions. Every woman is in a unique situation.

To these women I don’t know, I want to say this. You really don’t have to feel bad about choosing bottle feeding for your baby. I promise you that your experience as a mother will be no less valuable. You will not be an inferior mother. You will give your baby everything he needs. In addition, you will be able to provide your baby with all the necessary emotional support when it is time for your baby to eat. 

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