Mom Shaming: Is A Real Mom A Bad Mom?

Mom Shaming: Is a Real Mom a Bad Mom?

Stress, lack of time, responsibilities, other people’s opinions… These are some of the reasons women consider themselves bad mothers. Today this phenomenon is called  mom shaming.

Author Jill Churchill says it’s not possible to be the perfect mom, but there are thousands of ways to be a good mom. However, some women aspire to be perfect. Whether this is external or internal pressure, the idea is as common as it is wrong.

A study shows that mom shaming is real

Unfortunately  , the fantasy of being a perfect mother is also passed on to the children. This critical attitude creates a negative environment that makes the children insecure and hinders their development.

mom shaming

And in this age of advanced technology, the internet, and social media,  it’s hard to keep yourself free from criticism that is  n’t constructive. Unfortunately, this also affects mothers. That’s why the University of Michigan has conducted an important study of the public judgment that takes place so easily on social media.

The reality revealed in this study is disheartening. According to the results  , two out of three mothers suffer from this type of criticism. They say they are ashamed to read the judgment of others.

The Truth About Judging

We see many unproductive and discouraging truths emerging from that research. For example  , more than half of the mothers surveyed say they have received criticism or bad advice from family members.

The worst part is that  every reaction, every judgment weighs heavily on mothers. It makes them feel insecure about their roles as mothers. In other words, all the criticism (often careless and unsolicited), all the mom shaming , makes women feel insecure and ashamed.

Mother and daughter

As a result  , women have trouble finding ‘the right way’ to be a mother. They are criticized for the way they punish their children, their children’s diet, even the way they breastfeed.

People are constantly challenging their skills. This wouldn’t be a problem if it only happened occasionally. If it happens every day, it affects self-confidence. We have evidence that mom shaming even affects her role as a mother and her relationship with the children and her partner.

Mom shaming isn’t real cause you’re not a bad mom

Despite all this, mom shaming isn’t real. It’s not real because that feeling of shame isn’t good. It’s just the result of a bad habit.

The problem many mothers struggle with is that they are criticized for everything. For having a cesarean section instead of a natural birth, because of postpartum depression, for how they deal with their emotions, for working instead of staying at home with the kids, for being on their phones too often (or too little) being, watching too much TV…

Cuddling with daughter

As Clint Eastwood says (excuse our language):  “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.”  However, it is not easy to escape this kind of pressure. In fact, it often comes from the people closest to them. That makes it even harder to get out of this bad situation.

Finally, we will quote Jill Churchill again. It is not important to be a perfect mother, but to be a real mother. Kind hearted, loving and kind. So if you love your child and give her everything you can, why listen to other people’s opinions?

There is no manual for being a good mother, but there is love. 

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