Falling in love with someone means taking a leap into the unknown and sharing your most intimate things. That is why people experience insecurity in love. After all, loving someone is trusting, letting yourself go and opening yourself up to another person.
Your relationship should be a safe zone where you can express yourself and be yourself. If not, you may end up being filled with insecurities and doubts. In this article, we are going to talk about the signs of insecurity in love that people can experience in a relationship.
You might meet a person you really like. However, you feel insecure. You are also afraid that they will hurt you. Then you give up before you form a bond. In this case, you may also suffer from insecurity in love.
“Running away” from someone you just met is actually a clear sign of insecurity. However, there are other signs of insecurity in love that can go unnoticed.
The first sign of insecurity in love: control and jealousy
Trying to control everything is a sign that you are insecure in love. This could have to do with the relationship itself (the things the couple does together) or with your partner (what they do or don’t do). Some people have an impulsive need to take control in order not to feel threatened.
When someone wants to control their partner, it is usually because they feel insecure. A need for control can also mean deeper psychological problems such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Moreover, insecurity in love also manifests itself in the form of jealousy. Jealousy is the ‘standard’ signal of insecurity. People who trust and have confidence in their partner can also feel jealous at times. However, this happens less often and not as intensely with them.
A good way to avoid jealousy is to stop exhibiting all the behaviors that result from it. Examples of this type of behavior are asking your partner where they are, when they will arrive somewhere, constantly checking their social media and so on.
Constantly asking for displays of affection
Being too aware of the things your lover does to show your affection is also a sign of insecurity in love. Everyone wants to feel special and loved. Obsessively counting the number of times your partner does something nice is not normal.
There are people who measure and compare the things their partner does to show them love. They even ask their partner to say “I love you” or to express their love in quantities.
The people who are insecure in love can also use certain phrases. These are some examples. “You don’t love me like you love your friends” or “When we’re alone, you don’t show affection, but you do show it to everyone else.”
These are all signs of fear, insecurity, and low self-esteem. However, these kinds of comments are completely normal if you don’t make them constantly or if they don’t create tension.
dr. Megan McCarthy of the University of Waterloo has conducted an investigation. She argues that people with low self-esteem tend to keep their “needs” to themselves so as not to annoy their partner.
This leads to difficulties in forming a healthy bond. Eventually accusations, criticism and a sense of discomfort will arise.
Not expressing your opinion and avoiding conflict
Arguing and disagreeing with your partner is actually healthy. In fact, disagreements and differences are necessary to understand that their needs are different from yours.
Many people try to avoid any allusion to an argument. After all, they believe that this is a symptom of weakness. As a result, they don’t express their views and just try to encourage conversations where they agree with what their partner is saying.
This habit can promote communication in the short term. In the long run, it will eventually harm the couple. A lack of spontaneity will do anything but put an end to uncertainty. In fact, it will make the situation worse.
There is something good about all this. The three signs we talked about aren’t just useful for identifying insecurity in love. Being aware of these signs and trying to change them can even help you put an end to this uncertainty.
Being in a relationship is a good way to get support. This is especially true if you can be yourself with your partner. However, it can also create tension when there is insufficient trust.