Love at first sight is like two eyes suddenly standing still. It’s two pairs of eyes crashing into each other. Two souls that flow into each other from that first moment when time stands still. It is also the mystery of an encounter where chemistry creates an attraction, but also creates a bond. It is an encounter where you can hear bells ringing, where the heart may start again.
The idea is fascinating, but the reality can sometimes be different. Love at first sight sells. We love that image that’s so common in movies, books, and commercials. It conditions us.
And even more than that: books like Love at first sight: The stories and science behind attraction by Dr. Earl Naumann of the University of Arizona reminds us that we believe in this phenomenon. We believe that one look is enough to make love blossom and conquer us, leaving us breathless.
This neurochemical spark, charged with uncertainty, desire, mystery and fantasy, also contains a bit of science. While not everything emotional can be observed through a microscope, we know one thing for sure: love at first sight does exist. But there’s a range of other things that come with it that we need to keep in mind.
Don’t call it love, call it attraction
Something like sudden love really does exist. It knows no bounds of time and it can arise suddenly, during the most unexpected moments. Love at first sight has always existed and always will. At the same time, there is also love that develops slowly. Before you know it, a deep friendship turns into true passion.
Love does not work with norms, criteria or orders. It comes when it comes and we know it. In fact, if we want to keep love alive, sometimes we need order, compromise, or an emotional democracy in which we can intelligently agree. There’s a reason for this. Love at first sight comes from attraction, not logic.
It’s about desire and fantasy. This is magnetism. It is the halo effect and that chemical reaction produced by serotonin and dopamine. It’s the door of the relationship, increasing the chances of a first date. It’s a love that comes without warning, but needs more attention later on if you want to make it a stable relationship. You have to conquer the mysteries with realities and you have to put the fantasy aside to think about these realities.
Love at first sight: what does science say?
The University of Groningen conducted research into this subject in 2017. In the study “ What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation ” 600 individuals who claimed to have experienced love at first sight were studied over a period of time.
Out of this selection, 92% had started a relationship after the meeting, right from the moment their eyes met. The majority believed strongly that they had found someone very special. The researchers then conducted interviews with both partners to get a better look at the couple’s psychological dimensions.
Love at first sight is related to appearance (and something else)
There is no doubt that appearance plays a role in love at first sight. But it is not always necessary that someone is very beautiful and therefore immediately attracts attention. The scientists explain that there is more, something that is conveyed through the looks that evoke feelings of trust and sympathy, that makes the looks cross without restraint and fear.
The halo effect
As we’ve mentioned, a first date almost always happens when people experience attraction when they look into each other’s eyes. It is often the case that the magnetism of the looks makes us begin to idealize someone in a way that is not always realistic.
This attraction comes from projecting positive qualities onto the other person. We see him or her as more intelligent, noble, original, reliable and honest. We create a halo effect that, combined with passion, makes the feelings last longer. This continues until sooner or later we are presented with contradictory evidence, which we may or may not tolerate.
Love at first sight is more common in romantic people
The aforementioned study by the University of Groningen showed that a large number of the couples surveyed have a successful relationship. That is, love at first sight can be long-lasting, develop, and turn into a happy relationship.
In a large proportion of cases , the relationship ends when passion wanes or fantasy doesn’t match reality, and the couple is unable to turn that situation into an intimate bond based on trust, affection, and care for each other. .
Another thing that was demonstrated was that a large proportion of couples who started a relationship through the cross-eyed view had a deep belief in romantic love. For them, things like soul mates and fate were realities that explained the success of their relationship.
Finally, we can say that science cannot deny that love at first sight is real and can be successful. Despite this, for many people, nothing more than attraction takes place after their eyes meet.
Attraction is always a channel of undeniable power that acts as the first step , like the first rung of a ladder towards a connection that grows day by day and overcomes challenges, growing it and turning it into a happy and successful relationship.