If Accepting Reality Is The Only Option

If you don’t like something, you have two options. One of the options is to change it, the other is to accept it. However, sometimes the second option is the only one you have.
When accepting reality is the only option

In this article we explain why accepting reality is sometimes the only option. If you’re confronted with something you don’t like, you can respond in several ways. You can complain about your bad luck, work on changing it, or accept it and deal with it so you don’t think about it all the time.

You may talk about it or decide to ignore it. There is an option to accept it in your mind or clear it mentally if someone talks about it. In the end, however, sometimes you have to accept reality because there is no solution.

In other words, some things in your life will last, whether you like them or not. To prevent them from negatively affecting your well-being, your only real option is to learn to live with them. You probably have some experience with this. For example, connecting with other people always means accepting eccentricities that you don’t necessarily like.

Sometimes you just have to accept reality and deal with it

Imperfection and accepting your reality

On a good day, when you feel lofty and idealistic, you will consider yourself lucky for having made mistakes. Without mistakes you never learn or you will not progress. You messed up yesterday, but today you will shine.

Sure, that sounds great. But how often, for example, has your forgetfulness made you angry? How many glasses end up broken on the floor because of your clumsiness? Or when you misjudge the distance and hit the car behind you. You didn’t realize your doctor’s appointment wouldn’t be until next week…

However, it doesn’t matter how angry you get at these kinds of situations, or how much time and energy you put into your frustration. You will continue to make stupid mistakes for the rest of your life. This is not about learning great life lessons. These are just things that happen to you and you just have to accept the reality.

Expectatitons

Things rarely happen the way you imagine them in your head. No amount of preparation can set you up for any contingency. If you were to list all the things that could possibly happen, the last line of that list would always say “among other things.”

But it’s just not worth it, being too careful or too reluctant to avoid a simple reality. Most circumstances are unpredictable.

Always being prepared is an extremely heavy burden to carry. You would be moving too slow and plodding where you should be dynamic and changeable. Human history has taught us the same thing: permanence is the exception, not the rule.

On the other hand, you can’t just throw away all expectations, just like you can’t stop yourself from having first impressions and prejudices (like the halo effect). Your expectations naturally determine several elements of your psyche, some of which are as important as self-reliance or your ability to control your attention.

Working with what you perceive instead of reality

A statue is not ugly. A person is not automatically honest or a liar. They may behave like this most of the time, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be like this all the time, or that they won’t adapt their behavior to their social environment. In fact, we all do this sometimes. That doesn’t mean we’re selfish or two-faced, though. 

When you look at an image on the screen, two points may be closer or farther apart, depending on how much you zoom in. You can make London and Cambridge seem very close, or very far away.

The advantage in geography is that you and I can agree to use the same reference point and give an absolute value, free of opinions.

However, transferring this method to the world of psychology has its problems. For example, imagine that London and Cambridge are in constant motion, so that the distance between them always varies.

What would you use as a reference point? In all likelihood, your only available reference point is what you see on the screen at that moment. Why? Because it is comfortable to work only with the information from your point of view, with only the information you absorb at any given time.

In other words, you usually work with photos, while you’d rather have videos with a 360-degree lens. However, this is not possible, it is just another example of the need to accept reality.

Looking through a different lens to see and accept your reality

You will forget things, this reality you have to accept

It’s on the tip of my tongue. The word I’m trying to remember is like an island. I know where it is, but I can’t find a bridge to take me to the beautiful beaches. The meaning, the last time I used it, the letter it starts or ends with… I remember all these details, but I can’t think of the word.

You recognize that face and went to the same school with that person waiting in line. But what was his name? He sat next to John and the math teacher always called on him. Another reality to accept is the somewhat anarchic way your memory works.

We’ve covered just some of the realities you have to accept. When these things happen, they are very frustrating. Which one would be on your list and why?

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