The Swiss writer Herman Hesse once wrote: “Soft is stronger than hard; water is stronger than stone, love is stronger than violence.” Why would he think that something that is soft is ultimately stronger than something that appears to be hard? If we analyze this quote closely, we could conclude that it was referring to resilience.
Resilience is the ability each of us has to adapt to and deal with adverse situations. The concept is well known in psychology, but it is rarely explored by people in general.
Resilience is a resource that every living thing has at its disposal, albeit in different ways. It is a key with which we can face difficult times and survive. It’s that amazing adaptability that allows our “emotional rope” to stretch, but never break.
However, it seems that some people find it less difficult to withstand or confront the hard times than others. Or maybe they make the same effort, but their attitude is different.
Resilience is part of a complex mechanism that is influenced by many factors, including the attitude we adopt towards a problem. Perhaps that’s why some people seem to deal with unpleasant situations differently or more easily.
Several studies of modern psychology have concluded that these are the characteristics of resilient people:
1. They are able to identify the cause of their problems
Resilient people do what it takes to prevent the problematic situation from happening again. This also includes self-analysis, which is sometimes triggered by a conflict that does not take place outside of us, but within us.
2. They know how to handle their emotions
Resilient people can control their thoughts. After all, every emotion comes from the thoughts. We think and then we feel. Resilient people control their thoughts so that they cannot be carried away by people with a negative charge.
3. They stay calm in stressful situations
We all go through tough times in life and it’s important to know how to stay calm when they arise. Resilient people are able to stay focused and calm in chaotic and temporarily confusing situations.
4. They are realistic
Much has been said (also much negative) about optimism that spawned the global idea that being positive means denying certain aspects of reality that are inevitably present in many people’s lives.
Being realistic, but always hoping for the best, is the best way to describe the optimism of resilient people.
5. They trust themselves
Resilient people are confident in their worth and their ability to overcome adversity. What we say will ultimately shape our reality. Therefore, if we think we cannot overcome an obstacle, then indeed we will.
6. They are empathetic
People with a stronger ability to handle problems appropriately read the emotions of others, understand what is happening around them, and act accordingly.
7. They Can Motivate Themselves
Not all people are equal. Some challenges motivate us and others are opportunities for change.
Resilient people know how to get satisfaction out of life over and over again. They are always highly motivated and able to recognize and attract positive things.
8. They don’t ask why, they ask how
One of the main characteristics of people who tend to break down easily when faced with a problem is that they are driven by guilt. They constantly wonder why the negative situation that is causing them so much stress just happened to them. They focus on the why, unlike resilient people, who use their energy to understand how to resolve the conflicting situation.
If after reading these characteristics of resilient people you still feel that you are not one of them, then it is important that you realize that resilience is present in every person.
The difference between people who are more resilient and people who are less can lie in important aspects of how the person is and how he translates this into action.
If you start to see things from a different perspective, your problems will seem less dramatic and more like a challenge, which, depending on the circumstances, you might enjoy.
What’s the key? Your will to change.