In order to unbalance an individual, it is not necessary to create direct conflict or use physical force. The use of irony, ridicule or innuendo is part of a type of communication between people, where one party is hurt. We are talking about perverted communication. It can take place between a couple, friends and in the workplace.
Perverse communication refers to the psychological abuse of a peer. It makes no sound, but destabilizes and confuses the individual it targets. All this can start with a simple act of disrespect, of course without guilt from the person who committed the act.
To convey this type of communication , it is enough for someone to make a teasing comment about a peer’s personal taste, achievements or expectations, both private and public. It is also common for this person to deny the other person the opportunity to express themselves or to insinuate things about the other person without clarifying them later.
Irony and Teasing: Two Forms of Perverse Communication
Irony and teasing are two weapons that these types of individuals use, and that define the relationship. At first, this attitude can give the impression of a strong person, because it gives him the attitude of ‘one who knows what he is doing’.
This leads to the collective belief that this person is simply like that. Deep down, this creates an unpleasant atmosphere that is not conducive to any aspect of life. An attitude that in turn contributes to the fact that the person never succeeds in creating a completely sincere and intimate form of communication.
Sarcasm and mild contempt are used as small, gentle strokes that hurt and disturb the other person. Strokes that often happen in front of other people. In addition, these types of people tend to rely on the reinforcement and support of an accomplice, who is part of their social group. The aggression is so insidious that the recipient may even doubt whether it is serious, or whether it is just a joke that he has to accept.
The vicious circle of these toxic relationships
These actions are so common that they seem normal. They start with a simple, disrespectful act. Yet it leads to recurring attacks, which have major consequences for the mental health of the victim.
It’s about something cryptic, and something that’s part of our everyday lives. The victims eventually just start to accept it. They look at these people with the clear assurance that it is better to agree with them than to go against them. This leads to an authentic distortion of the relationship between the two parties.
Marie-France Irigoyen names this kind of violence. The kind that start out inconspicuously and slowly and where the hurt person doesn’t react to resist. Instead, the victim adopts a kind of attitude that appears to fuel the hidden aggression: excessive kindness. He thinks that if he can get the person who is “teasing” him to like him a little bit more, that person will eventually become friendlier.
Let’s not forget that if at some point the hurt person decides to resist, the “superior being” will stop him from doing so. The teaser will try to prevent any ability to think critically and cause the hurt person to lose the idea of their own identity.
How to end this kind of relationship
People who are insecure about themselves can be manipulated more easily by others. These types of people put the opinions of others above their own. They are convinced that others always know more about a certain subject.
After everything we’ve explained, who do you think is really insecure, the one being manipulated or the one who has to manipulate others to feel strong in everyday situations? So we want to emphasize the need to teach children to respect others from a very early age. We must understand that each individual is unique and irreplaceable, and that we should not be a threat to each other.
You have the same value, the same value as the people around you (no more, no less). Keep your head up and look straight ahead wherever you go. Because your body, your opinions, your ambitions and your goals are worth it.