Difficult people can come up with a problem for every solution. They disagree with everything, create storm in a clear sky. Moreover, they are arrogant and robbers of peace. They are complicated and exhausting. That is why we must learn to deal with these types of people properly, at least if we want to maintain our own mental health.
We would like to throw this type of personality into our “undesirable” folder, forward it to a parallel dimension, so that our own world remains intact. However, if there’s one thing we can be sure of, it’s that we’ll always have to deal with difficult people, whether it’s a family member, a co-worker, or someone in our group of friends.
Confucius said there are people who find satisfaction in spotting other people’s failures. And if it’s our partner or one of our parents, it can be very devastating.
The “difficult” personality, which we understand as one that exhibits erratic, inconsistent, narcissistic, manipulative and sometimes even psychologically aggressive behavior, is actually quite nuanced.
Let’s take a look at the personalities of these people. People who specialize in making things heavier than necessary.
Difficult people, or the ability to see the world from a negative perspective
We are all difficult in our own way. Each of us has fears and insecurities, frustrations and irritations. However, the main difference is that people who are at the extreme end of this spectrum. They are unable to build functional, respectful and stable relationships.
The most obvious quality of difficult people is that they are quite emotionally unstable. This fact alone shows that these people have multiple underlying problems. They explain their rigidity and inflexibility by always finding something wrong, something to blame. To make life harder than it needs to be.
It’s important to keep in mind that difficult people can suffer from dysthymia (an affective disorder of a chronically depressive nature) or even some type of personality disorder that can hinder the way they relate to others.
In other cases, as Daniel Goleman also explains in his book Emotional Intelligence , when we go through a stressful situation, we may no longer be able to think clearly. We are no longer able to prioritize. We begin to see things much more complicated than they really are.
With this we want to say something very simple, since it is actually quite obvious. M oeilijke people, the people who are so difficult to deal with, may have underlying problems. Sometimes it is simply men or women who need help.
On the other hand, we are also susceptible to it. When we go through a difficult time, it is very easy to become a difficult person ourselves.
Helpful tips for dealing with difficult people
In view of everything we’ve shared above about difficult people, we already know that it’s always a good idea to be a little more gentle with this kind of behavior. It is also good to keep in mind that it is possible that those difficult people in our lives are simply going through difficult times.
But of course this doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just get stuck in their narcissistic way of being.
If you know someone like that, it’s important to keep one thing in mind: you can’t change these people, but you can learn to interact with them in a way that makes their actions less impactful on you. to have.
Dealing with difficult people without losing control
The most obvious tip we can give is: keep your distance. We’re not just talking about ‘physical distance’ – which, as we already know, isn’t always possible – we’re also talking about psychological and emotional barriers. It will be a challenge, but here are some tips to make it a little easier:
- Make sure you always communicate in an assertive way.
- Express how you feel when a difficult person around you says or does something that negatively affects, hurts, or disturbs you. You have to expose the effect that the behavior of these people has.
- Explain in detail what behavior you don’t like and what you don’t think they should repeat.
- Think of alternatives to their course of action. (Next time please don’t focus on my problems, if you offer solutions or suggestions instead of criticism, everything will go much better. I know you can do it, and I trust you will.)
- Finally, it is very smart to always remain calm yourself. Try to understand that it will only make the situation worse if you lose control yourself. Learn to set boundaries and create a safe space for yourself.
In short, some people tend to be difficult and make the lives of others more difficult. Let’s try to understand their point of view and sense when they need help. If they don’t need help, then we have no choice but to protect ourselves.