Plato once said that we only love what we want, and we desire only what we don’t have. This is platonic love. In his day, people already felt the devastating feeling we know all too well today: lasting dissatisfaction with life.
This feeling seems to be most common in romantic relationships. There are so many people who idealize love. They need it to be perfect, in just the right amount.
This nostalgic romance, this love of falling in love (and not with anyone in particular), makes us feel constantly unsatisfied. This idea of love is not based on reality. Rather, it is based on the fantasy of what could have been.
On the rare occasion that this platonic love leads to a relationship, the person feels elated. It hides the emptiness that has made him suffer so much.
Platonic love: desire and pleasure
There are so many people who only find pleasure in desire. Longing, dreaming, hope and idealizing is what gets them going.
But when they really get what they want, they get bored. Once they have what should make them feel complete, there is no room for desire.
They eventually run away, escape, seeking a new dose of desire. Because that’s what really makes them come alive.
Though they suffer, it is sweet and addictive. They think there must be something better. If not, that means they haven’t found it yet, and they continue to search.
All too often we think that happiness is found elsewhere. If only we could find where it was, the discontent would disappear.
But eventually we realize that this is actually not the case. In fact, we already have everything we need to feel good. If we could change just a few things in our daily lives—things that rarely cost money—we wouldn’t have to look elsewhere for happiness.
Learn to love what you have
It’s perfectly normal to want something you don’t have, and in most cases it’s a positive source of motivation. But when the desire becomes a need and leads to pain and suffering, you get stuck and begin to feel empty and dissatisfied.
That’s why it’s important to learn to love what you have, whether it’s your relationship, work, friends, or city. There are plenty of positives in all those things that others would want for themselves.
You have to wipe the stains of routine and disillusionment from your glasses, change your lens and voluntarily change the aspects of your life that you don’t like. And do it with as much hope as possible.
If you are able to appreciate and be grateful for every day you live, you will no longer miss the things you never had. You learn to live in the present and be happy with what is happening. You accept adversity and get something positive out of every experience.
Stop your mind wandering into the future and the constant complaining about your life. Stay where you are, take a risk and change what you don’t like about your life.
But don’t long for perfection or impossible dreams that never come true. What you already have is perfect, so why not take advantage of it?