A Clean Slate, A New Smile

A clean slate, a new smile


I’m writing to tell you that I’m leaving you. I suppose you already found out that I met someone. That’s me. I’m going to give myself a chance. I deserve it.

I have stayed by your side longer than I should have and you have to admit that. You were full of empty promises. I’ve waited too long, longing for the hugs and caresses you’d never give me.

Why did you treat me like this? We had a great, promising future ahead of us. Can you tell me what you’re so afraid of? That’s me. Your desire, your enthusiasm, your will to live.

I could have sworn your soul smiled when you thought of me.

All these sunrises, travels and opportunities have escaped us. Our time together is over and… and nothing. There is only emptiness. So I have decided to carry on on my own, to be responsible for myself and fulfill my life goals. I’m here for something and it’s not for letting my life go by.

There was a time when rainy afternoons reminded you of me, made you smile and make a million plans. On Mondays, when you woke up early to study or go to work, you told me, “With you until the end of the world.” And I -how stupid of me- I believed it.

Of course, if I had to pick a time to stay by your side, it would obviously be summer. I could see the life on your face! The first week of summer you always burned with passion. You never left me in the sun or in the shade and we felt an intense romance.

Sunflower and Butterfly

But later… later you left me crying. You forgot again and began to let life pass you by again. Day after day after day. So boring!

The start of a new year also held new promises for us. You filled every corner of our house with new projects. Our days were numbered, living in paradise, but… deep in my heart I’ve always hoped – I’ve always thought that you would start burning again with passion and tear me off my clothes with your teeth again.

Why am I leaving now?

Because I’ve been chained to the “prison of tomorrow”  for a long time, too long . Parts of the suffering and misery in our lives have ‘clicked’ together in my head and pressed the right button.

So… a clean slate and a new smile. One day I woke up and didn’t know what to wear, so I decided to wear a smile. It’s my lucky dress, my evening dress.

We’ve been through a lot together. But time passes and we still haven’t defined our relationship.

You know, I’m not just a toy you can collect. Life is for living, for overcoming obstacles and sharing your goals and dreams. You are not in this world to whine and miss every opportunity.

Your strength, your dreams and I have always been with you. We’ve never let you down – but we just don’t get along. We live to take action while you only talk about it.


We called to you, every day of every month of every year: here we are, come and see us here when you wake up! And you were always tired or just didn’t want to. So the hope that kept me by your side started to disappear…

I didn’t give up, although I think it was wrong to trust that you would take me with you forever. I have fallen, I have suffered and I have cried. And all this just to be by your side.

Now my patience has run out. From today I’m going to live and laugh like there’s no tomorrow. The last thing I want is for you to be sad – this is the best thing for both of us.

Simply put, this whole situation has made me so small that now the time has come to grow. Promise me you’ll learn to fly. I’ll give you the best reason to use your wings. That reason is you yourself!!!


Your enthusiasm for life

-Image courtesy of Natilles–

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